Friday, February 25, 2011

The Husband

This is The Husband, of course. And basically, I adore him. I mean, how could I not? The man knows and loves every little bit of me, and I sort of think he deserves some kind of award for that, you know? Cause I can be difficult and the tiniest bit melodramatic at times, even when I don't mean to be and think my reaction is totally validated when it's so not.

We laugh a lot, he and I. The way we talk to each other sometimes is vomit inducing. We can push one another's buttons easily, and we get over it even more easily. He doesn't dwell on things, and that may just be one of my favorite attributes about him. I dwell enough for the both of us and then some, he tends to balance me out when I am too much of something. And thank goodness for that. I mean, seriously. He is the calm to my crazy.

He is my best friend. I cannot imagine life with out him. He is the love of my life.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

I Could Use Some Wonderful

Today has not been a particularly sad day. It has actually been relatively happy. Time with the Husband, scripture study, fresh laundry, church, Livi, Skype with my mom and sisters, a visit from my brother and sister-in-law...but all day long, little bits of failure have been creeping into my day; all the things I could be better at, the areas of marriage or motherhood I seem to be lacking in, a stubborn body, my sad attire, resentment of lessons that need{ed} learning, lack of creative flow, just general forgetfulness of so many things that need attending to...

And it makes my heart break just a little. And really, there is no solid reason that it should. But it is.

I've come to recognize the pattern in my life that when I get feeling this way, when I feel the adversary working so heavily when all else in life is basically good and fine, I'm being prepped.

I think perhaps this is one of those times. This has been going on a while now and it makes me nervous about what He has in store for me. I hope it hurry up and happens and that it is something wonderful. My soul could use a little wonderful.

Friday, February 11, 2011


My creativity is feeling stunted.

I opened a box today with all of my notes, writing exercises, finished pieces, book outlines for books I haven't written, my graphite, coal, and colored pencils and all my sketchbooks. I eagerly pulled them out, opened to a fresh sheet and .....nothin.

I haven't written anything worth reading in ages. I haven't drawn anything worth looking at in even longer. This is sad.

I've never had such a severe case of creativity block and I so desperately need to overcome it. And I haven't got the slightest idea how.

Just throwing that out there, cause it's frustrating. And I need an outlet. And all else is failing me.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Truth About Lost Luggage

Those who frequently travel by airplane know that there isn't much that is more completely vexing than when an airline loses your luggage.

You planned your trip in detail, properly booked and confirmed your itinerary, carefully {over}packed your suitcase, showed up on time for your departure, safely flew to your destination, only to find that your luggage did not follow you. Whether you are coming or going, it's a completely infuriating experience and it leaves you feeling oddly exposed. It may take only a few hours or up to a few days before your luggage finally finds the correct arrival destination, into a delivery vehicle, and finally into your possession. The whole thing is a strange and discomforting experience and you may think to yourself how conveniently God could do away with these little nuisances in life, these inconvenient problems that really seem to do no good of any kind, anywhere.

Enter: Me.

This last year has been strange. Strange and difficult and overwhelming. The Husband and I have said thousands of prayers often praying for the same specific things, over and over. In December, He opened a door and we were thrilled. A week and a half ago, someone threatened to slam that door shut. I panicked, like most women do. I went from zero to worst case scenario in 2 seconds and cried for hours. What were we going to do? And the ever-calm Husband reassured me over and over, "It will be fine. I KNOW it will." He held me while I sobbed, never wavering in his conviction.

Enter: Lost Luggage.

We had set a little plan in motion a few weeks ago. We live 5 miles from the airport, we have and "in" in the travel industry, and we knew that a current delivery service for a specific airline was burning some major bridges. Several conversations, lots of paperwork, and a new insurance policy later and I am now a business owner.

Yesterday, I was delivering a bag two hours from home. I was thinking about our lives, the things that have happened, and which of our prayers have been answered, including this business. This could not have fallen into our laps at a more needed time. For a moment I thought, I can't believe this just happened to fall into our laps now, of all times. And it hit me. Sometimes God answers prayers in the form of lost luggage. Your inconvenience is the answer to someone elses prayers. The gratitude I felt was overwhelming.

I called the Husband and shared this with him through my tears. "I just can't believe it, we have so many things happening for us or going to be happening for us soon, I just can't believe it. This is such a huge answer to our prayers."

And again, the ever-calm husband said, "Of course it is. Did you expect anything less than an answer?"

So next time your luggage is lost, you get ink on your favorite shirt and must take to the dry cleaners, the doctor sends you to two separate places for blood work, you must speak with multiple customer service representatives, or are having the exterminator spray for spiders forcing you out of your home for a whole day, remember that yes, you are being inconvinced, but also that your inconvenience is the long awaited answer to another person's prayer.