Today has not been a particularly sad day. It has actually been relatively happy. Time with the Husband, scripture study, fresh laundry, church, Livi, Skype with my mom and sisters, a visit from my brother and sister-in-law...but all day long, little bits of failure have been creeping into my day; all the things I could be better at, the areas of marriage or motherhood I seem to be lacking in, a stubborn body, my sad attire, resentment of lessons that need{ed} learning, lack of creative flow, just general forgetfulness of so many things that need attending to...
And it makes my heart break just a little. And really, there is no solid reason that it should. But it is.
I've come to recognize the pattern in my life that when I get feeling this way, when I feel the adversary working so heavily when all else in life is basically good and fine, I'm being prepped.
I think perhaps this is one of those times. This has been going on a while now and it makes me nervous about what He has in store for me. I hope it hurry up and happens and that it is something wonderful. My soul could use a little wonderful.
2 comments:
Jules, you are one of THE strongest women I know. You are a spiritual giant and have carried so many people thru so many difficult times, including me.
You are a spiritual giant and you are 100% accurate, when the trials come, you know that is when God is ready to greater heights.
I am here for you if you need anything.
Wonderful. I think we could all use a little wonderful. Praying you get some soon. T
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