Thursday, March 26, 2009

Weeks 14-15

The earlier months of morning sickness and exhaustion given way to second trimester allergies and even more exhaustion. Strong aversions to food in general turned into a growing appetite but with still very few food items that are even remotely appealing. Emotions are settling and I am growing more in love with the idea of motherhood.

Little, tiny, fists and feet have made themselves evident in the form of bubbles popping. They have been faint and irregular with the exception of one swift kick two nights ago while I was drifting off to sleep.

Little kidney's are now functioning, facial expressions are working, and lungs have begun to develop. I am fascinated by the capabilities of my body, its ability to create and nurture without my even having to think about it. I am amazed, wholly and completely amazed.


gap_girl44? I noticed you follow my blog, I was just wondering who you are? Have we met? Are we friends and I just don't recognize your handle? If so, how terrible of me to not know...

Monday, March 23, 2009

Oh, Mary.

Every morning at work, Mary pops her head into my office and says, "Hi, Momsy!" Her greeting is often accompanied by some sort of delicious treat, homemade salsa or guacamole, a piece of fruit, chocolate truffles from the chocolate factory here, or a piece of chocolate pecan pie...this only quickly escalating her status as one of my favorites here.

I just adore her.

Mary is a retired vet nurse. Yes, she served in the war, and is an Americorp volunteer. She spends roughly 35 hours a week volunteering for various places and programs, while taking care of her Alzheimer addled husband, is a devout Catholic, and is a gourmet baker/cook/chef. No kidding. Her pies win somewhere around $5,000 a year.

She has gumption. The really good kind. She is just about the sweetest person I have ever met but is able to command the respect of 24 adolescent criminals, whom she refers to as "The little darlin's."

Whenever I'm sick or my allergies are kicking into high gear or I'm really missing Brandon, she tells me she'll light another candle for me. I don't have any idea of the significance of lighting a candle, but her gesture touches me so much, it nearly makes me cry. And if the problems don't seem to subside, she sighs and shakes her head and says, "Well, looks like I'm going to have to expand my candle budget this month."

Really, her faith is inspiring. Her attitude is something to be studied. Her food, quite drool worthy. Her kindness and compassion, touching. Her sense of humor, completely endearing. I aspire to attain her tenderness.

We need more Mary's in the world.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Common Threads

I remember my dad this way.

I'm not sure how many nearly identical pictures there are of him like this, but I know there are a lot.

I sit wiping away my tears as I look at this. It is one of those cruel moments where his absence weighs so heavily on me that it becomes hard to breath, where his death seems so unnecessary, so cruel, and as if my tiny family is cheated out of the happiness and experiences that my dad's presence would have brought to our Little One.

My dad loved babies. Babies loved him. I always thought that this spoke volumes about the true character and spirit of my dad, and I believe this to be true of all men. It was, in fact, this very quality that took me from in-like to completely smitten with Brandon. I cherish this for so many reasons. Its like my dad and Brandon are kindred in this way. It makes me think, more than ever, that my dad had a little something to do with B and I finding each other. It was like he knew that since he wouldn't be here to love his grand babies with a tenderness I can never achieve so he found for me a man who possessed the same qualities he had to love our babies the way they would need it.

I will always remember my dad this way....I eagerly wait to see my husband this way.

So, today my love for my dad and Brandon have a common thread. Their fatherly qualities are so similar in such beautiful ways, it is beyond touching. Their abilities to love are limitless.

I am so very blessed.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


I'm feeling spring fever in the worst ways.

It has been deliriously gorgeous here, in the 70's. I took myself on a long walk yesterday and had to fight the urge to to take off gallivanting through the park, as I decided that being with child gallivanting is not so much a good idea.

I'm just itching to do some spring cleaning. I want de-clutter my drawers and empty my closets, organize my linens and scour the toilet bowl, I want to launder, fold and iron, make all my towels smell downy fresh, I want to Febreeze to my hearts content and be overcome by the power of Pinesol, I want to dust and shine and polish, I want to clean chair rail molding and crevices with a toothbrush...and after my walk I had very good intentions to do just that.

But then I sat down to recover from my near gallivanting...and never got back up. After my near gallivanting I couldn't quite muster the strength to even take off my shoes.


I guess there is always tomorrow. Or the day after. And next week.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Redecorating, Sleeza Style

Lowes Decorative Reject Wall Covering: $3.00
Mulit-Colored Push-Pins: $2.00
Cost of Gas From SLC to GJ: $35.00
Three Sisters Redecorating Mom's Office Without Her Knowledge: Priceless