Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Confessions #3

** I like reading books that make me think. I like reading at the gym. But I do NOT like reading books that make me think at the gym.
** My nose itches a lot and when I rub it to give it some relief it makes kind of a weird honking crunching sound...
** Although I use Ambien sparingly, its starting to make me hallucinate a little bit, humoring me while completely horrifying my husband.
** All reading that will be done between now and the beginning of summer semester will likely be teen fiction, and here's why: 1. A 400 page book in teen fiction can cost up to 15 dollars less than adult fiction with the same number of pages. 2. There is not as much thinking required in them. You will not find a a Virginia Woolf or T.S Eliot anywhere in that section. While I do enjoy the works of both writers they require a lot of focus and attention and most of my leisure reading is done at the gym....see above.
** At six feet tall I often feel like a freak when I have to bend over to hug people. It's awkward. Is this awkward for short people? It makes me feel like a blimp and I wonder why everything in my life seems to be built in miniature.
** I cheat on puzzles, only the really hard ones anyway. After I have done them once, I section them off and put them into little baggies so they are easier to do next time.


For the last two years or so my amazingly wonderful friends Sara, Steve, and myself have thrown "How to Host a Murder" dinners. I highly recommend them as they are insanely fun and you get to dress up in very unflattering costumes and throw your virtues out the window for a night! Ok, so maybe we aren't exactly giving them the heave-ho...but anyway...

Our most recent scandal took place a few weeks ago in the thug infested streets of 1920's Chicago and was aptly named "The Chicago Caper." We all had fabulous mob-like names and if you say them quickly, ala Mad Gab, you might get the joke.

From left to right....
Me- Anna Maria Carlotta Sasine (Torchy), Brandon- Ernie "Bet a Million" G. Ambler, Greg- S. Treighton Harrow, Lindsey "Silky" M. Adam, Kimball- Billy "the Kid" Thrower, Sara- Molly M. Awbster, Kristin- Malissa F. Orrthot "Scoops," Steve- Eddie "Socks" R. Gyle.

*Note: I am doing my best Paris Hilton pose here, and also the tallest to shortest height thing is hysterical and so not planned, anyway, I digress.

While these two make quite an attractive couple, Billy is actually a drunken child hater and Molly is one dirty, liquor transporting, girl.

Scoops is playing both sides in an attempt to further her career and Socks there is just far too concerned with apparel.

S. Treighton Harrow claims to be the single pillar of virtue but so far from it and Silky...well, basically she runs a brothel.
(I love a good mock engagement picture, and I think this one takes the cake)

Torchy is a tortured torch singer with a killer past and Ernie has a bad habit of lighting his cigars with 100 dollar bills.

The most obnoxious size of rings ever, but we love them anyway. We can't help it.

After a lot of laughter, shouting, widespread inability to speak English, good food, name calling, and general disregard for the law we find that it is in fact Silky M. Adam, aka Lindsey, who "offed Mr. Hal Cappone."
Such a shame. I never knew she had it in her.

Friday, April 25, 2008

The posts below should have been posted a long time ago...I did them quickly as I am getting death threats from people for lack of consistent updates lately, which I am totally blaming on finals....anyway, more to come soon.


Since winter in Utah has lasted something like 8 months, Brandon called me from work one day a few weeks ago and told he was just tired of it and that we were going on a quick little trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

We were kind of concerned about the tone being set for the trip while we were getting ready to leave. We were already on the plane, getting ready for takeoff, when they sent us back to the gate for "mechanical malfunction." )Me and my "magical thinking" issues were going into overdrive) This happened three times and over an hour later we were finally in the air.

When we got to Mexico, the airplane misfortune was made up to us. Brandon had booked us a hotel room, not really knowing anything about it other than it was a great deal. When we got there, not only was it AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL, but the upgraded us to the Honeymoon sweet, including a tub on the balcony, for free.

Everything else aside, basically, we spent the next 24 hours lying in gorgeous cabanas on the beach. It was lovely....

(I'm too tired to put these in any sort of order or even explain them)

(I thought the statues with the big behinds were hysterical)

Mt. Rushmore

Ok, so this might not be a very comprehensive post. My brain is fried from finals and all of my creative energy right now is completely spent.... but anyway....

In March (I think?) me, Brandon, and his parents left a freezing Utah to go to an even more freezing South Dakota. (Seriously, it was so cold our car doors were frozen shut.) Basically, we went just to see Mt. Rushmore, which actually turned out far more interesting than I would have thought. I had no idea the entire thing was "carved" with dynamite. Seems awfully risky, but what do I know?

Poor George...they left a drill bit in his left eye. (It's the black thing in his eye socket.)

Now, just as a warning to all those who plan on visiting South Dakota.....the food, well...it sucks. It kind of made me want to barf. I'm not one to complain about this kind of thing, really...but this was just bad stuff. So if you are planning a trip, pack your own food.

For all you cinema-lovers, remember in National Treasure 2 they found the treasure underneath a lake on top of (or just behind?) Mt. Rushmore? Yeah, its crap. This snowy rock mass thing is actually that lake, its called Silver Lake, and in reality it is actually 12 miles away. Darn Hollywood, always falsifying this kind of stuff.

Anyway...it was fun and interesting, and another place I can say I have been.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

10 Loves (at 4 in the morning)

With all the haste of finals approaching and whatnot, I have remembered maybe 1/8th of the things I normally do. 10 Loves has been one of those things that has fallen by the wayside. But right now, its 4:12 in the morning, I have been up for an hour, thy gym doesn't open for 45 minutes, so what better time than now to catch up?

1. Last night Brandon got some pizza from the Pie and VOLUNTEERED to snuggle up on the couch all night and watch Enchantment, just cause I love it so much. He didn't complain even once, and even genuinely laughed a few times.
2. Jodi Reidthaler! I met her a month or so ago at church. We both realized we were in the same child lit class and equally terrified of the teacher. She is totally a kindred spirit on sooo many things. She is just too darling.
3. The anticipation of Murder. I can see your blank, stunned expressions. But it will be throughly explained, probably on Sunday. (Lindsey, Steve, you know what I'm talking about. My sequins are excited.)
4. I'm loving the scale these days. Our love/hate relationship is definitely on the love side again these days.
5. I've got puzzles on the brain. As part of our anniversary gift Brandon gave me a 2000 piece puzzle of Times Square. We broke it out last week while watching Sweeny Todd (Speaking of musical cannibalism, I advise not going down this road. No disrespect to Burton, Depp, or Sondheim. I adore you all, just not all together) and I have been obsessively puzzling ever since. With all our flying around lately, I have rediscovered my love of suduko and I am mildly obsessed with this as well.
6. Traveling with Brandon. We have been on some little trips as of late and we have had so much fun. I love being able to do this right now. I love going with him, just playing and relaxing. We are taking advantage of these opportunities while we can, and we don't regret it. I will post some pictures soon!
7. My sisters. I've said it before, I'll say it again. The are my best friends. I just adore them and I am so grateful to call them mine.
8. On that note, I love my sister-in-laws! There is just something about'em, you know? They are so fun and entertaining. We can totally plan trips to sneak down to the Twilight movie shoot just so we can take spy like pictures of Edward, and its ok. We don't judge, we're all obsessed.
9. Reading for fun again. I have like, a whole 2 weeks to read whatever I feel like. I don't have to analyze it, close read, or interpret it. I can just ready it, eat it like candy, and savor it. I am thrilled.
10. My mom and Dan. They are just such good eggs. I love them both so much. Dan was handpicked by a certain someone to take care of the Pace women. He does a most excellent job.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Just cause you aren't saying it in English.....

Doesn't mean I don't understand it.

I think women have an automatic translator built into their brains. I think that depending whichever insecurity is plaguing us most about our appearance, we can translate those words without effort. For me, often the words are "gigantesco" (gigantic, Spanish) or "tres grand" (very big, French) or "Mommy, that guhl is beh-we hooge" (Mommy, that girl is very huge, 3 year kid). We can sense the tone, inflection, body language, and precise puncuation and know exactly what it is that is being said. This I am sure of, as I have done it often.

Today, while hangin' out with the SIL's (who are all quite fabulous, I must say) I lamented about how often I am asked when Brandon and I are having kids, telling me when I should have them and how many I should have. This has become something of a sore spot for me. I feel like a lot of questions people have been asking are kind of personal...but that is another blog....

Anyway, so later this evening, we see Brandon's friend who also speaks Portugese. As usual, he and B start conversing in Portugese, like the always do. Quietly observing their exchange, I notice a teeny, tiny sideways glance from his Portugese speaking buddy...and I hear this....

E sua esposa grĂ¡vida

Translation: Is your wife pregnant?

Awkwardly, I glance down at my blue empire wasted spring dress and wonder what he thinks I'm hiding? Do I look fat? I have even lost some weight recently and somehow I still look like I have a bun in the oven?

I immediately jump to my defense, "I'M NOT PREGNANT!!! Do I LOOK pregnant?" furiously rubbing my stomach to emphasize its none pregnant-ness.

Whatever...I can't turn the translator off...might as well roll with the punches.