Saturday, April 12, 2008

Just cause you aren't saying it in English.....

Doesn't mean I don't understand it.

I think women have an automatic translator built into their brains. I think that depending whichever insecurity is plaguing us most about our appearance, we can translate those words without effort. For me, often the words are "gigantesco" (gigantic, Spanish) or "tres grand" (very big, French) or "Mommy, that guhl is beh-we hooge" (Mommy, that girl is very huge, 3 year kid). We can sense the tone, inflection, body language, and precise puncuation and know exactly what it is that is being said. This I am sure of, as I have done it often.

Today, while hangin' out with the SIL's (who are all quite fabulous, I must say) I lamented about how often I am asked when Brandon and I are having kids, telling me when I should have them and how many I should have. This has become something of a sore spot for me. I feel like a lot of questions people have been asking are kind of personal...but that is another blog....

Anyway, so later this evening, we see Brandon's friend who also speaks Portugese. As usual, he and B start conversing in Portugese, like the always do. Quietly observing their exchange, I notice a teeny, tiny sideways glance from his Portugese speaking buddy...and I hear this....

E sua esposa grĂ¡vida

Translation: Is your wife pregnant?

Awkwardly, I glance down at my blue empire wasted spring dress and wonder what he thinks I'm hiding? Do I look fat? I have even lost some weight recently and somehow I still look like I have a bun in the oven?

I immediately jump to my defense, "I'M NOT PREGNANT!!! Do I LOOK pregnant?" furiously rubbing my stomach to emphasize its none pregnant-ness.

Whatever...I can't turn the translator off...might as well roll with the punches.

9 comments:

kate said...

i have that same translator. i am pretty sure that it more harmful than helpful. i am also pretty sure that my translations are, more often than not, skewed and make me much more upset than a true translation would. bytheway, when are you having chillun? just make sure to start using the gum before you decide to have them...

Brandon and Julie said...

Gum? What gum?

Haley said...

Isn't it the gum to assure you don't have ugly children or something? Leave it to Kate :)

Just Us said...

non-ugly gum?? only you kate!

Jenny said...

Ha! That's hilarious, the foreign language isn't always as sly as we think it is. Also the personal questions never stop, who are you dating, when are you going to get married, when are you going to have kids, when are you going to have another kid, when are you going to stop having kids, when are you going to have grandkids. The thing is it's generally people that don't really know you that ask these personal questions. Annoying yes, fact of life, yes as well.

Linds said...

I hear you on this...I don't think there's any way around this, unless we just keep telling ourselves that they are really saying something complimentary!

Thanks for stalking me, I love it! (that may have sounded odd out of context, but you know what i mean!)

BritGal' Sarah said...

LOL I agree completely on the language thing...and never having had kids out of choice, I sympathise greatly on the 'when are you going to have babies' issue!

Mind your own bloody business is the answer I feel like giving ;-)

Taunya said...

I hate it when people ask if you are pregnant when you aren't. The last time someone asked me that was 4 months after I had Anikah. I replied, "No, Im not pregnant, Im just fat." She replied by apologizing up a storm. It was obvious that she felt very uncomfortable... served her right in my opinion! That is a question that just shouldnt be asked unless you are ready to pop. Which BTW... you do not look prego at all. So glad you made it up for the craft exchange! Check out my blog to see what I wrote about that. Sooo much fun with my sis-in-laws!

TheBastians said...

Ah, Julie - I feel for you! Really, I do. We get the question about kids all the time. And it's especially annoying since we've been TRYING to have kids for four years! Oh well! :)