Thursday, March 13, 2008

4 Years...

He used to wake us up in the morning by singing the BYU fight song or "I like to go swimming with bowl legged women." I never really understood why he'd want to.
If there was a baby in the room, you could find it in his big strong hands.
He had a wicked sense of humor and the most infectious laugh (Brandon laughs in just the same way). We spent Saturday mornings walking around hardware stores and getting "alligators" and apple fritters from Parson's Bakery. Kids loved him, probably because he was the BIGGEST kid of all. He always smelled of wood and Old Spice. He saved a lot of lives...literally....he just couldn't seem to save his own.

There is so much to be said about him and it would be impossible to put it all down. I miss him. Painfully so sometimes. It was 4 years ago today that he left us. He has missed getting to know my husband, he won't be here when our babies are born. He was missed sending his littlest princess to LA where she is only beginning to realize how amazing she really is. He has missed the incredible laughter and humor of his Little Brown Buddy and the way she spreads smiles and service. Its hard. Its hard to know this.

But, as I have said before, he is still here. I know he is with my babies right now and when I got married, JaLee knows this too, his presence was undeniable, he was everywhere in that room. I know he is Haley's protector in the City of Angels, a fitting place, I'd say. And I know he rides with Katie everywhere she goes. We were the most important people in his life. I know he didn't leave us just to leave us.

I know this. I know he is here. I know this with all my heart.


TheBastians said...

BEAUTIFUL and poignant, Julie. When I was in college, I used to think that sometimes I was a bit luckier than my roommates. They were all homesick, missing their parents. And I felt like I always had my dad with me. Like you, I know he's with my babies up there too and I can't wait until the day when I can introduce him to Jeff face to face! (Although I think he had a hand in bringing the two of us together. It will be nice for Jeff to be able to meet him.)

Love you!

Haley said...

I almost made it through the day without crying like a baby. But here I sit now with red, swollen eyes, and I am so grateful for so many things. Expecially that I have great sisters like you, who continue to teach me so much. I don't know how I got so lucky! SDLY

Brandon and Julie said...

Thanks Cristi! I think our Dad's have had and will continue to have a lot to do with what goes on in our lives, I am so grateful for that.

And Helly- love ya Sleeza.

BritGal' Sarah said...

Beautiful Julie and very touching. My thoughts are with you in this tough week.

I also believe our loved ones stay with us and surround us daily with their love.

Linds said...

This one got me, to my core. I ache for you, I really do. I know he's with us as well, but I also know the raw pain that loss can cause. Thanks for being such a great example to me. Lova ya!