The Class that Runied My Childhood

I signed up for Children's Lit mostly because I got to read Grimm's Fairy Tales AND Harry Potter. This excited me. A syllabus I actually liked? But then I went to class. The teacher hates me and, well, as it turns out...

Little Red Riding Hood is a prostitute.
Cinderella married an idiot.
Germans scare their children into behaving....behave or be beheaded.
Alice In Wonderland may have been on drugs.
Peter Pan is incredibly annoying and unlikeable...so is Wendy.
Apparently, humans evolved from birds....what?
Disney will destroy our children.
Disney princesses have sexuality oozing out their eyeballs, literally.
Beauty and the Beast encourages women to stay in abusive relationships.
Racism has been subtly placed in nearly every childhood story I love.

And we are only halfway through the semester.
Everything I loved about my childhood, the stories, the magic, the dress-ups, the make-believe, the books....it seems so tainted now. I realize how dramatic this all sounds, but during our last class, one girl sat with her head in her heads in tears because of all this nonsense. Seriously. We all filed out of class in silence completely overwhelmed with this information. I feel so defeated. This professor has killed the magic in any children's book I may ever read, all with her sarcastic, pessimistic, eye-rolling, and overkill lectures.

Its no wonder I can't sleep.